anatomy of a singer: in relation to a band:

Part two: My Band: Progressive Soul


(please read part one here)



This is currently the only story of

GROOVE DAMAGE...
(EST. 2000)

' the best band you never heard'...








Preface:

This article is dedicated to the players in Groove Damage. For all the hard work and dedication. For swallowing pride, and agreeing to wait, even though it didn't seem to make sense at the time... Jah, may the world soon see, how you bless those who put you first. May i be able to make all who read this see, that Love was and is my motivation Through the Looking Glass...



















Long Cold Winter



Early Winter 1995. I had answered an ad placed in the local Weekly, by a band looking for a singer to front their brand of Progressive rock.


Listing influences like Rush, Kansas, Genesis... I knew I had found the band I was looking for. I was studying voice, and wasn't quite ready to be the greatest singer of all time ( struggling with Kansas' range). However, I knew what I wanted, I knew this was MY band, don't ask me how... I dialed.

After calling the number, I spoke... "...How do you pronounce your name?"

"PRAA-shaNT" the voice replied.

"Is that Indian?" I asked with a breath of excitement... (Exotic, progressive, rockers... 'vewy intewesting"...)

The conversation was long and warm. We connected on many areas of life, especially music, and shortly after, I got a call from the Bass player, Eric, (He could feel Prashant's excitement, and wanted to talk to me immediately... ) the two of us spent what seemed a lifetime connecting, and inquiring... dreaming out loud... I had passed the phone interview...












SCHOONER TIME!
--------------






Schooner Time was a basic sports bar, in a store front shopping mall... small.
Big FUCKin' schooners of draft beer. Goblets.

Eric booked the gig as an instrumental trio... 'Equinox'. They invited me down to check out the band, and if I thought I had chops enough, we would go from there...















Schooner Time had a small stage, a pool table, dart board... Not to mention a group of regulars that literally reminded me in a faint way of the NBC "Cheers" Gang. As the band played the very Rush/Halen influenced, insanely progressive set, one of the more inebriated patrons, in a funny voice, shouted, "One MOre Time !!"... (This continued... for every single song...)

So.......

- whoa.... HOLD ON THERE Skippy Lou!!

- What happened?

- How do you share the macabre mind control of your evil wife... where do you start?

-GOoOod question... but one I must answer, as, I will be sharing a few of the observations, made by myself, about the band at the time, and we had more then our share of Freudian mothers lurking in the shadows, bitter and controlling...

- You sound a bit bitter...

- AU Conn-Tray-YER MON AMeeeeee... I have a piece of peace now... However, mind control from people around an artist, is important,

when painting a verbal portrait of a singer....





I've learned it's healthy to, "tell on my self" a little...
A lot is better. I gotta be honest...(Long Pause)

SOOOOO anyWHoooooo... Schooner Time. Equinox Rox. My shackle of a Freudian wife was in tow, be-cause she planned on parlaying this gig into a vocal spot next to me... Yikes... I would have committed "Foo-UH-cide"... (oh, she could sing. not as well as she controlled and It wasn't easy... resisting her mind games, and manipulation, and set up an audition with the band...) I was a bit nervous... but way more excited... Marriage be damned. I was out to land this gig!





The Band, Nunna, Harris, and joined on drums by Zack Kelly, calling themselves 'Equinox', rented a small room with a PA, and the 4 of us came together to try on for size, the sound of the previously agreed covers... "Red Barchetta"by Rush, and "Carry On Wayward Son" by Kansas. (Both Harris and myself enjoyed Kansas on a Spiritual level)... So, not all that nervous... we had a good jam. I massacred the Rush classic, but for 'Carry On' I laid some soulful taffy... then we played around with originals, and Eric and Zack (Prashant, too, I think) loved my free form rap, and written lyrics... With style, and substance... I got the gig.









Before we go any farther with the story of the band... we must introduce a section I have entitled:

"The Judy Factor"

Judy 1, will be my X.

Eric's Judy will be 2

Zach will have 3

Prashant 4

Ali, was always the wisest of us all. More centered. Cooks and eats healthy foods. Lives in a simple town-home in TO... Waitin'.

Ali has the patience of a camel, full of dates and oasis spring H2o... He crossed the Atlantic in the '70's to become an engineer... instead he became an epic composer, who works at the library... he has some of the greatest Faith I have ever encountered on the 3rd Rock From The Sun...

But Ali, isn't even in this story yet, so I digress---


But is the Judy factor relevant to the story of Groove Damage?

Yes!


Because relatives are relevant.

In my understanding of Freudian Psychology the Oedipus complex is not a sexually perverted theory (He was called by some the "dirty old man of psychology") but rather, an astute observation of repeating cycles in the lives of humans.

So in my case, and the reason I call this section the Judy Factor, and each wife Judy (digit) is because Judy 1 is the woman I know best. The other women in the lives of the members of Groove Damage, exhibited many of the same behaviors as my Ambiguoso wife. Furthermore, to recap, the band and I were alot alike and the friendships grew, but not until we rejoined.

I suffered an exhausting attack of Judy's special brand of Cauldron Witchcraft... we hadn't been married long, and she gave me both barrels...


In her words, we needed to 'work on the marriage', a card she played many times throughout the 6 years we were together... In my mind, it was always a hiatus. In retrospect, I believe the band chose an inferior vocalist, but with a tone similar to mine to lay the vocal parts written by the band.

Eric asked me once upon a decade, "How do you write a song?" and I looked at him for a long moment and realized, that he not only wanted to really know, but that it was no longer a threat to me for the bass player (or anyone else) to write lyrics, and I happily shared my wisdom in the form of a metaphorically clever song that went to Prashant's music and was called "Equinox" in honor of the band. The lyrics weren't bad, but I wrote them in a way that would open Eric up to write his own lyrics. i.e. I threw in something about quest for knowledge there, cruising a starship here, etc.. Then I sang it and threw some STANK on it. Eric and I always understood each other, which is why he re-wrote that song, but, kept my theme alive. Only, intellectually and poetically more adequately represented the idea. What can I say, I fucking LOVE this band!!





---SECOND ATTENTION---


So, I had spent approx 8 months, in a special brand of hell, created by Judy 1.

Using the term 'work(ing) on our "marriage",' Judy talked me into walking away from my heart, which was Equinox.

During this period, Eric, Zach, and Prashant, as mentioned, worked with some bad singers... Women who could not come anywhere close to singing well enough to play with "my" band. Even on a cover, like "Brass In Pocket"...


Calling themselves "Second Attention", the boys were more then frustrated... I too, at 'home', was in a state of medicated depression, due to all of Judy 1's, "Tender, loving, care"...

However, I never stopped holding the truth in my mind, despite Judy 1's hypnosis (what she didn't know she learned from my evil mother)...
I never lost faith, and I never stopped seeking G-d, in prayer for the answer...

One day, after buying a brand new 5 subject note book, I received the answer to my petitions, in the form of an entire Rock Opera. I was working in a Vinyl LP plant, and was mopping the nickel from the floor, when, in a daydream, I conceived the concept that was to become COMMANDER GATOR AND THE SWAMPADELIC SPACE BRIGADE...

When I got home, (hours before Judy 1 squeezed through LA traffic)... I wrote the programme, and then the narration, and then the lyrics, song after song, one right after another, in one fell swoop... though drawn from my own experiences, and based on myself, and friends, this opera seemed to be channeled through me... It kind of freaked me out, because, I didn't black out... I was aware of the fact, that these lyrics were being suggested to me, for me, and about me... It was amazing... I could almost even hear the music... It was complete, before Judy 1 got home, including the phone call to Prashant.... I praised Jesus... this was it...

Staying in touch with Prashant, (I checked in every so often, to inquire on status of band, and my friend Prashant... He and I were instant friends). There was no doubt in my mind how good this thing was written. I knew this was what I wanted to do. There was only one guitarist to write this with me... Prashant Nunna.

I called and told him of Gator... He loved the concept over the phone, and came over the next day to work on music.

Playing my 12 string Ovation, he wrote a huge chunk of the music for the vocal parts... and I could see Prashant understood my word pictures, and the instrumentals would be perfect... He could hear the music, instantly... we were on fire... furthermore we, sounded good together... heck, we always did... Ambiguoso gypsy from Springville, Utah... Ambiguoso gypsy from Smallzville, India... Churched. Damaged. Puppetized by "Mama"... Jah brought this duo together... Gator was unfolding faster then Judy 1 could control, (ahhhh... but lord knows she gave it Hell...)... my marriage was ending... bondage being broken... medication being abandoned... spirit felt/known... balance... more then ever before... I was free...

"WHEN THE WALLS C[A]ME TUMBL'IN DOWN"

Toward the end:

Judy 1
Brings me "Stand Up Comedy class", but puts strict regulation on material... 'do not make fun of [her] family...'. Stand Up Comedy is hardly an art form, and it was painful staying glued to set that I was only marginally interested in... I am funny. My comedy was not.

G-d
Brings me Ventura Area Theater Sports, and I learn the rules of improv, (I just opened up and all these characters came pouring out... ) I become a regular player (and large draw) within weeks... My "band of Merry misfits" are immune to Judy 1's Dark Side Mind Tricks... and I play characters based on her family, my family, friends, and outside conditions are affecting me less and less...
------
Judy 1 had lost the grip. I learned to ignore her gripes. Repel her gropes. Exchanged grease for Grapes... and Grooved my way to 'sanity'... The experiment was over. "DING dong... the [fuckin'] Witch is dead..."



---what the Ventura Theater meant for Evil, Jah meant for Good---




The Screw Job




Sometime in the midst of our hiatus from hell... I had convinced Ali to join this project. It was not easy to do so... Mr. Razavi was playing keyboards for my friend Kathy Jensen's Band. Kat was a kindred spirit of mine, and she knew, 1- I was looking for a pianist 2- Ali was miserably uncomfortable with KJB, and was really bored.

She suggested I come over to the gig, and listen to Ali.

When I got there, I could ONLY hear him (even though he was way too under modulated)...
The band was good, (wedding/mitzvahs/worship jamboree) but KJ was right, he was too good to be there, but too humble to leave. I told him HE was the guy for Gator. He loved the concept... he insisted he was not, 'the guy' but knew the guy... (see what I mean, humble).... so, on a hunch, I asked the Persian-American, if he knows my guitarist, a cat named, Prashant?

"Nunna?", Razavi asked, wearing a grin that created Cheshire Envy...

'Yep.' I says...

With wisdom that can scarce be found in americA, Ali proclaims. "OK. I'll try it..."

Now, with new O2 and a lifted burden... he called Prashant. The rest is History: Yet to be told.

Ali wrote the remainder of the pieces, and augmented Prashant's melodies... This was one cracker Jack-song writing trio. We became friends. Ali and Prashant met out each week for local music, and conversation.
I had my comedy classes, and gigs at the VATS improv theater...

The three of us, went through a myriad of players. Drummers, bassists... The best of the lot was Steven J. Barbarine, who was the Bassist for my old band 'Strait Street Project'.

Man I love to listen to him play. He's soul with a metal edge, ala Badlands... only with 'ItalianoFunk' slathered all over it. Which would have completed my 'Mediterranean Combo' by the by... just joshin' ya'll... lol.

Prashant hated Steve.

Barbarine, who holds not one iota of hate in his heart however, and is an excellent and witty debater and orator, was not afraid of Prashant, and encouraged me to "lead" my band and he (they) would follow.

(Steve had the best ideas, about most things)...

'Kingroc's' lingo offended Prashant's managerial sensibilities... and he struggled with what Tolkien likened to, Gollum & "The Precioussss"... control. grabbing. entitlement. Sin...
a mentality that was building from his frustration, and inability to control his anger...

Prashant wanted it all to be immediate. But Steve was/is my friend. He is just solid. Furthermore the guy can 'do whut Ee doo'.... I was staying out of it.

Steve did not play/learn/practice/or think the way Prashant did... (Classical culture-clash & Emotional may-lay P way)... and he was not afraid to say so.

Prashant resented Steve.

I wanted to back both players... at the time I was what Stevie B. calls, "oblivious", and not leading the band, and he was 100% right...

However, Prashant and I knew... that even as much I loved Steve, and grooved on his sound. As much as I respected his leadership/friendship...
Prashant and I, and now Ali, were always to remain with "Equinox/SecondAttention"...

Eric and Zach, were the ONLY players for the job...

We invited the dynamic duo to watch us on the Calvary Chapel Camarillo stage, in the local festival. We had a kid from church on drums(good drummer). Steven J. Barbarine on bass, and enough "fans-imly/ friend-ience" to, make the two of them really wanna listen... they knew they liked me as a singer/songwriter/front man, and Prashant was still their guitarist... Hey, they dug the concept, dug Ali's work, and knew that the collective 'we' could turn it out...

With Jah's hand, Steve and the drummer quit.

Steve, to stay faithful to G-d's leading, and the kid, because we weren't "Christian enough"... he was right to a point... I wasn't playing the "church game" any longer. I saw how far they would NOT go with the musical gospel...

(I am sorry his name escapes me... but not only was he not old enough to play bars, he didn't want to for "moral reasons", what ever... Mozel tov , Danny, or Skippy, or Mikey??? Peace unto you ...)




We moved to Zack's parents 6 car stable and compound, where we had room to create, and with THIS rhythm section, we came alive. IT was on, muthafucka!!

'We' agreed upon the name I had brought from my job at Record Technology Inc, a manufacturing term, for static on an LP record... "Groove Damage"... We loved it, and it is us... many dimensions...

For 4 years, (after the two we spent trying to find the band) we honed and perfected Gator.

Prashant had decided to complete his education, and he majored in Music at University. He grew much as a player during his studies, but not spiritually. He became colder and more calculated, and still withheld... (how hard it must be to be a foreigner in this country...)
Judy 4 working her own brand of motherly voodoo, Prashant's resentment growing like ivy, and his slow but steady loss, of the word given to him... all contributed to his turning in, and swelling with prideful hate...
He was told, in his own words, "...by God, to write this music For JD. It was for him."

Prashant was changing, and not for the better. The more he listened, the less he understood in the lyrics, it took years for this non-americAn-americAn, to try and comprehend the meanings... one thing he knew, the lyrics contained allegory and metaphor, and he couldn't find the key to either...

After much work, practice was turning to boredom in the garage, and while we had played Gator before, (though not as Groove Damage), the band felt it time to gig locally...

We booked a night to play the Majestic Ventura Theater... Time to share Gator with the people was the consensus of Groove Damage... even though I knew it wasn't true.
G-d was telling me to wait...

The spirit was gone from the project... Prashant was bloated, and getting more angry by the minute... He had assumed control of the project... but it didn't matter. G-d was pulling it back, and I was the only one who was receptive to that spirit. After all, G-d was using me every day to change lives of strangers, and not with a band backing me... My ministry to the "children of the night" was in full swing, and it was far more important then playing music, no matter how good that music was/is... By this time, the band had lost touch with the band...

Voices in the ears of the rest of Groove Damage, were not friendly toward me (Judy 2 - 10 ad nauseaum).
I appeared to be a goof off, who would kill our chances at "making it"... I am sure though, that not one of the "Freudian Mother(s)" , wanted to loose the 'man' they squeezed, to screaming fans/groupies...
I know Judy 1 didn't, but she was jettisoned before she could damage Groove Damage... The other Judy digits were more successful...

But biological moms, and metaphorical moms aside... we were moving against the Spirit from On High, and I knew this.

Was I a goof off? Sort of. My voice was often far off pitch during practice, (LSD)... (but mostly when the band was 'dead', or I was distracted...) . Like I said, G-d had started my ministry, and I was thinking differently about people, Christ, the Gospel as I understood it, and as I didn't understand it... I was learning philosophy, sociology, and creative Myth... I was transcending, and it seemed the only member of the band who was...

I knew that when the time was right, I would be a miraculous vocalist, and bored goofing aside, this opera was for this band...

However, Gator was to wait... something had to be fulfilled in Prophesy... There was allegory and metaphor within Gator, that even I was yet to see the full meaning of... To get to it, I would have to shelve my "Baby", and continue on my quest for the Highest of Truth...

Was I crazy?

Walking away from a 'sure thing' band, and project... (A band that played in a garage, but was ANYTHING but a garage band)... giving up music, my life long dream, and pursuit?

I knew that, soon I would have to leave. Whether the band could understand why or not.

The gig at the Majestic Ventura Theater was my confirmation it was time to go.

Everything was going wrong.















My fans were my flock...(Photo Subject not an actual member of the Street people of Ventura, but an incredible simulation)


...the people from the streets of Ventura, Oxnard, Santa Barbara, and elswherez.


They could not afford the ridiculously over priced tickets, and The Majestic had screwed us out of two weeks of promotion, and did not honor one of the promises made to us... save, a recording of the show.

The place was practically empty the fateful night we graced that magnificent stage. The sound check was for the band that played before us... so our recording was not good. Ali's keys are almost absent from the disc. We gave it a hell of a go though...
we played our hearts out...

We got offers that night, to be placed on the CamperVanBeethoven/Cracker tour.The band was open for it, but I knew, and just needed to hear from Prashant, that we were to wait...

However, Prashant's reason to wait was not based in wisdom and searching for meaning... it was based in a growing hate for my voice...

I turned down all offers...
----------

Shortly after our night at the Ventura Theater, I booked us a gig at a small bar across the street from The Majestic... we were cramped, crammed and had to set up apart, kinda spread all over the court yard... I was suffering from a bad case of "LSD", and missed near every musical cue... I sang off key a bit, and the band was frustrated...

After Gator, Eric pulled me aside, and made the statement that, I was sounding bad, and that he (personally) was there to back me up, and didn't want me to be a clown. He wanted me to sound great, like I had in the garage... he was right.

After the band meeting ( and two subsequent meetings with just Prashant and Ali) , we discussed all this, and the fact that I would have to quit for now.

"Please shelve Gator", I pleaded. As good as these musicians are, there were plenty of pieces we had in 'the wings' the 4 of them could work on, whilst I was on my sojourn... "try to understand", I begged... I don't think they ever did...

They practiced Gator for a spell with out me, finally shelving it... then parting company, they hardly talk any more...






------------------Quase Famosos-------------




So there we were... saying goodbye.

At the time, No one in the band could see what was really the issue.


The boys, all 4 of'em, were rich kids, who grew up to be money makers in their non-creative pursuits... They could never grasp that 100 dollars, was ALOT of cash for this poor kid from Springville to dish out... I couldn't afford fancy instruments, which seemed affordable to the band. I struggled to stay in working harmonicas, let alone, vocal processors, or what ever they suggested I buy...

Furthermore, the demo was a mess.

The live recording aside(not broadcast quality), the studio demo was a night mare... Prashant had assigned himself the job of captain of our little ship... I never asked him to lead the band. The band sought musical direction from him... He misunderstood, as usual. My leadership was different... maybe a bit ineffectual at the time, I was trying to explain, that I wanted to be free of burdens like booking, and chump change, so I could become these characters...

I needed him to finish the music. That the opera could be complete. He took it upon himself to wear 50 hats. He chose to dish out top 'dollah' to a friend of his from school, to record this "album"... I told him then, and say again now, 'Nobody was paying us to record this opera'... so even if he was spending a million of 'mama'(or whoever's) dollars on recording it...'it is a demo'... nothing more.

He insisted on the band playing individually in the studio. Killing the 'live' excitement and feeling we got as a group. He restricted Erics creativity, he dismissed the band as irrelevant once their parts were laid down. He 'punched in' the majority of the more technical parts, which, also killed the live feel of the entire opera music... he was bossy, and unreasonable, and deliberately defied my vision, so he could remain in "CONTROL"...

The India native, even used a keyboard in lieu of an actual Sitar... sacrilege to say the least...

He had used veiled threats several times during our practices, to insinuate that I was replaceable... maybe so... but it was during a post recording brewhaha, that I set him strait... Prashant said, " I don't think this is working out"... "fine", I said calmly. "We'll finish here [in the studio], and I will get a new guitarist!"

Flabbergasted, he was still from that moment on.

He realized, for the first time, that ALL and any of us are replaceable.

He conceded. We barley spoke after that.

I have yet to receive the full opera demo. I know he (probably still) struggle(s/ed) with whether or not he would allow his musical compositions to be continued as Commander Gator.
Despite the fact, he didn't have a single note of this piece, until I presented the concept/lyrics to him...


"I'm the front man! You're the lead guitarist with mystique!"

Prashant, continuing in his tradition, of holding out, and has not released to me the music, for Commander Gator & the Swampadelic Space Brigade.

Perhaps in writing this (the only article to date) on Groove Damage, I have left out important information about my own failings with this amazing band. I wanted to make it clear, that my "urge for going" was based in the Spiritual.

It was never meant, not even by G-d Herself, as an end to the band.


I made a myriad of mistakes... what can I say, I was inflicted with Lead Singer Disease... No doubt about it... While that is true, it is also true, that there was a method to my madness...

That, as many times as Prashant broke my heart, I was striving for the greater good.

Prashant... as a musician, he's one of my all time favorite guitarists... Temper tantrums aside, I love the kid... He may have felt at the time that I was reason he was getting fat, and angry, but he brought that latent anger to the band... he was angry before we started, though he knew not why... It is easy to point fingers and blame... I had to watch him put on the pounds. I had to take the sting of his comments...












Singers Have A Bad Rap



There is no cutesy terminology for what guitarists and bassists, and drummers suffer from...

Maybe we singers deserve the title of clown.

So few of us, ever make an eternal difference. Showmen, not Shamans...


Bands are funny animals. So many die before the world discovers them.

Others are poached by the "empire", and chewed up by the "industry".

A lot of bands, have life long members, joining up in childhood, and managing to somehow navigate through the muck and mire of Pop Culture.

Groove Damage was not formed, until all the members were adults. We didn't have opportunity (save Harris and Kelly) to spend a lifetime playing together, but, we have today, tomorrow, and beyond...

If I was Mr. Nunna, and reading this, I might feel attacked, or singled out, or slandered... I would be wrong in all accounts.

I am not singling out Prashant. I am not placing blame for anything on anyone. The Judy Digits are not even to blame.

The truth is, Commander Gator could have made me and all of GD, millionaires 5 times over...

I studied Voice Over with Ned Lott of Disney Studios, as well as with Brent Brace, and some of the finest in the field.

I got an offer from Mr. Lott for a submission of Gator to him, and that studio... It was integrity, and dedication to higher principles, that made me not "cash in" on Gators marketability.

I didn't want my Characters to adorn 'Happy Meals', I didn't want cross marketing, and I damn sure Did not and Do not, want my female character to be a "Disney Princess"...

No. I wanted to assure that all the allegory, and metaphor, remained in tact, on CDR Gator. Disney would have raped the story, and Pixar, violently fuck the film...

It's too valuable to mankind. I really believe that. A silly little story about an alligator cruising to outer space in a Caddy... It's the message. The prophesy of Gator is what matters.

I owed it to Groove Damage collectively, to their respective significant others, and to the World as a whole, to keep this project pure and pristinely in tact.

Being poor my whole life, has taught me that money is transitory, and goes faster then it comes... Money can not be the motivation of this singer, because I have turned down stacks of it.

---------

Words and Music.



Words and music go together like peanut butter and jelly.

In our case, the music would not exist with out the words. The concept.

The words would not exist, were it not for petition, if not, for my crying for sanity (in chaos)... I am creative. I am a writer. However, I could not have written this, with out the guidance of something greater then myself.

Eric Harris, who is Groove Damage's strongest lyricist (I am proud to say), drew his inspiration from the sacred as well. His song 'New Reality": a cyber lament, came from watching the Ten Commandments on TV...

This band, though not traditionally "Christian", has more integrity, and far deeper concepts then any cookie cutter "Jesus" band ever dreamed of...

I was wrestling with Ego when I left California. Mine. The bands.

The band has no idea how close to "legend" i came... (See part 3)

I chose wisely, and G-d is pleased.

I don't want to loose a single member of this band, I love them so much more then they can know...

-----

I am asking the members of Groove Damage to leave the crumbling "Golden State", and travel with me to present our work to the world.

Soon. A 3 day presention of Gator will commence in Salt Lake City... Mr. Razavi has agreed to come and back me up... and I am pleased to announce, that for all 3 shows, I will sing every character.

Jah willing, the remaining members of Groove Damage, will "fasten up [their] seat belts and enjoy the ride"... visit, gig, tour, move, continue following the leading of G-d.

------------







Stay Tuned For Part 3; anatomy of a singer: in relation to a band; Van Halen.
I am looking forward to finishing it...


La Vie Boheme
... and 2wo to grow on